My secret love
by redvelvet2010
Summary: Spencer is withholding a huge secret from the BAU. What is it and how will it affect the team? Rating has changed due to language and a future lemon.
1. New York

Criminal Minds fan fiction

"My Secret love"

Disclaimer: I own no characters of Criminal Minds. Only the story is mine.

Chapter one

"New York"

"If music be the food of love; play on!" -William Shakespeare

It was a rainy Monday morning as Special agent Dr. Spencer Reid walked into the bullpen of the FBI building in Quantico, Virginia. His mind was on other things besides the job with the Behavior Analysis Unit. His mind was on New York. The very thought of the Big Apple put a grin on the young genius's face.

"Someone looks happy on a dreary Monday morning."

Spencer looked up and saw Jennifer Jareau, or JJ as she preferred to be called. The pretty blonde was pouring two cups of coffee. She handed one to Spencer.

"Thanks. I need this." He poured enough sugar in his coffee to fuel an army.

"Trying to put yourself into a diabetic coma, Spence?"

"No. Just trying to wake up. Long weekend."

"Speaking of which, Will and I missed you Saturday afternoon. What happened?"

"I had to go out of town. Big emergency."

It was then that JJ noticed a shiny chain around Reid's neck. She lifted the chain and noticed a wedding band on the chain. It was weird that Reid would have any type of jewelry on since he only wore a watch.

"This is new. A wedding band? Something we should know about, Spence?"

Suddenly a voice said, "BAU team. Conference room."

It was Special Agent Aaron Hotchner, the team leader.

Reid was glad that Hotch had interrupted. He didn't want to explain the band he wore around his neck.

"Well?"

"It's my Dad's. he thought I might want it as he no longer wears it."

The fact that Reid's parents were divorced wasn't a secret.

"Oh," was JJ's reply. The answer seemed to suffice, however she had the feeling that Reid was hiding something. The ring, the goofy grin on his face. She sighed. Sometimes it sucked to be a profiler.

Inside the conference room, Penelope Garcia, the technical analyst, was setting things up for the meeting. The colorful analyst hit a button on the control she was holding.

"This case was flagged top priority by the New York City police. One of their own, a hostage negotiator, was taken. No ransom, no demands."

"What is the name of the victim," asked Agent Emily Prentiss.

Garcia responded, "Lt. Madalynn Dubois. She has no record of any living family."

"Why was this case flagged top priority," asks Agent Derik Morgan, a muscle bound black man.

Garcia responded, "Dubois is a graduate from the FBI academy. She chose, for whatever reason, to stay in New York. She not only is a hostage negotiator there, she also works with the homeless kids."

It was then that JJ noticed the goofy grin on Reid's face had been replaced by a look of shock and disbelief.

"Spence, you okay?"

His voice was barely audible. "She has a two year old daughter. Has she been seen or heard from?"

"How do you know this, Reid," asks Agent David Rossi, one of the founding agents of the BAU.

"Her name is Nadine Anna. She's two and is slightly asthmatic."

"Again, Reid," Rossi said, "How do you know all this. And don't say it's because you're a genius."

Reid's answer stunned all the agents into silence.

"Because I am Nadine's father."

After a few moments of silence, Hotch replied, "If you're telling the truth, Reid, I need to take you off this case."

"Hotch, this is the mother of my daughter! With Madalynn missing, who knows where Nadine is. You would do the same with Jack!"

Hotch sighed. Reid was right. He remembered the state he was in when his son Jack and his late ex wife, Halie was held at gun point by George Foyette. In the end, Halie had been killed, and Jack's life was in danger. Hotch didn't want another parent going thru that same pain. He thought of this team as a family.

"All right, Reid. You win. But the moment your emotions get too out of control, I'm pulling you off this case."

"Thanks, Hotch."

"Okay team, we meet on the plane in twenty."

Walking out of the conference room, It was then that JJ began to put the pieces together, concerning Reid's strange behavior. Another secret he was holding. One concerning the wedding band on a chain that hung around the young man's neck.


	2. Secrets part one

My Secret Love

A Criminal Minds Fan Fiction

Disclaimer: I own no character of Criminal Minds. Only the story is mine.

Chapter Two

Secrets part one: Reid's point of view

"Secret, secret; I've got a secret!" Mr. Roboto by Styx

I can see the shocked look on my team mates' faces as I tell them that Nadine is my daughter. I'm sure it's a lot to take in; the youngest of this team, the genius who tends to be socially incompetent, rambles on about statistics, and always has his nose in a book, is now a father. What if they found out about my other secret?

Sitting on the plane, looking out the window, I think of Nadine's mother, Madalynn. I remember the curve of her face, her smile. Even her laugh causes my stomach to flip flop. Now her life is in danger as well as Nadine's.

I'm still lost in thought when someone sits beside me.

"Doctor Reid a family man? And I thought I had game. Looks like I've a thing or two to learn from you, Reid."

I smile as Morgan settles in. His humor wasn't lost on me, I just wasn't in the mood to laugh. Morgan must have picked up on this.

"So, where did you meet Madalynn?"

"At Central Park. Over a cup of coffee."

"Coffee. Why am I not surprised?"

"Actually, I had the cup of coffee. She bumped into me and coffee went everywhere. She offered to wash my shirt, and things just went from there."

"Then why all the secrecy? This team is your family, Reid. I thought the secrets were over after the whole Tobias Hankle thing."

"Am I the only agent who believes that I can have a life outside the BAU? I just didn't think everyone needed to know my personal business."

Morgan holds up his hands in surrender. "You've got a point, Reid. So, you have any pictures of your little girl?"

Morgan's comment causes me to smile. My little girl. Nadine has been the light of my life for the two years that she's been alive. She had me wrapped around her little finger when she took her first breath. I pull out the current picture I carry around with me. Looking at the little angel who has her mother's smile and my eyes. I hand the picture to Morgan.

"Reid, she's gorgeous. She has your eyes. She's going to be a heart breaker when she gets older."

Prentiss leans over Morgan's shoulder.

"Reid, she's cute. Is she like you or her mother?"

"Well…"

"Never mind I asked. Here's hoping she avoids statistics."

I chuckle. Prentiss has a point. I hope that my daughter is more outgoing than I was as a child.

I get up to grab a cup of coffee, nearly bumping into JJ.

"Spence, are you sure there isn't anything else you want to tell me about the ring around your neck? I'm a very good listener."

"What would make you say that, JJ?"

"Your grin, the fact that you're always gone over the weekend, now you tell us that you have a daughter."

I sigh. "You know, being a profiler sometimes stinks. I thought we agreed not to profile each other."

"You're Henry's godfather. I don't want to see you hurt, Spence."

"Look, I know I've had my issues in the past with my drug problem, Gideon leaving, and the whole thing with Prentiss. But Madalynn is.." I had no words to describe this woman who'd captured my heart nearly three years ago.

I saw a smile cross JJ's lips as I became speechless.

"I know the feeling, Spence. It's like that with Will. I can see the impact Madalynn has had on you. You have a spring in your step. You're more socially outgoing. You ever thought about asking her to marry you?"

My look must have given my secret away, because JJ gave a little smile and nodded.

"You already are, aren't you?"

I nodded.

"Does Hotch know?"

"Look, Madalynn and I agreed to tell everyone when the time was right. I felt it was the right thing to do after Madalynn told me she was pregnant. I didn't want my daughter growing up in a single parent household. I see her everyday with the help of Skype and I go to New York every weekend."

"When were going to tell the rest of us, Reid," a voice from behind me asks. It was Hotch. "You know I can recommend you being suspended without pay for this."

"I didn't say anything because Madalynn is up for a transfer. She didn't say why and where. We were going to tell everyone when we found out where she would be transferred to."

"That's why you asked me about the possibility of a transfer out of the BAU."

I'd forgotten I'd asked Hotch about that.

"Look, I don't want to see another family torn apart by our jobs. I wouldn't wish that kind of pain on anybody. But why, Reid? You're young. Why would you subject yourself to this?"

I was starting to understand why a normal man would see red when someone trashed his family's name. I was starting to get angry. A feeling that normally was associated with the likes of me.

"I love Madalynn and Nadine with my entire being. I won't stand here while someone, even if he is my unit chief, trashes their names!" I took a big sigh. "Hotch, I'm sorry. Surely you can understand how I feel." I feel my eyes tearing up. "I just want to know that they're okay."

"It's okay, Reid. I was in the wrong. I understand how you feel. If it were Jack, I'd lay my life down for him. Now, let's see the newest addition to the Reid family."

I smile as I hand him Nadine's photo. "I never thought the day would come when I'd fall in love with a toddler."

Hotch smiled. "As a father, it's easy to do. They say that the first man a little girl falls in love with is her father."

I smile. I hope Hotch is right. My childhood wasn't exactly stellar. Given the example I'd had from my own father, I hope I can be a better father. My thoughts go into BAU mode as we discuss Madalynn's case on the way to New York.


	3. Obsession

My Secret Love

A Criminal Minds fan fiction

Disclaimer: I own no characters of Criminal Minds. Only the story is mine.

Chapter three

Obsession

"Let us all assume that we are all insane. It will answer many questions. It will unriddle many riddles."-Mark Twain

As the plane touched down in the Big Apple, Reid couldn't shake an unsettling feeling that had washed over him. Madalynn was missing and who knew where Nadine was. He could only hope that they were safe.

As the team traveled via SUV to the 22nd precinct, Reid noticed how dodgy the neighborhood was. He remembered Madalynn telling him that no cop in their right mind would transfer to the 22nd because it was a war zone. Looking out the window, he saw she was right. The graffiti on the walls, the drugs being sold in broad daylight, but most of all was the homeless people. Most of them being teenagers who, for this time of day should've been in school. Reid knew Madalynn had a soft spot for the homeless teens, as she used to be one. Madalynn had been orphaned when her parents died in a car accident when she was six. From then on, she'd been bounced from foster home to foster home. When Madalynn was eleven, she ran away from the home she was in. She was homeless for nearly two years. Had it not been for the love, care, and the home given to her by the Dubois family, she might be still be on the streets or worse, dead. Mr. Dubois was a retired police captain who showed compassion to the homeless kids. Madalynn patterned her life after her adopted father. Reid had told Madalynn that taking these kids to shelters or even giving them money would lead to nothing but trouble. He hoped that one of these delinquents were not responsible for Madalynn's disappearance.

As the team walked up the steps to the precinct, they were met by a man who could be described as distinguished. Every hair was in place right down to the handle bar mustache.

"Hi. I'm Everret Dugan, Captain of the 22nd. You must be the FBI."

JJ shook his hand. "I'm Agent Jennifer Jareau. These are agents, Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Derik Morgan, Emily Prentiss, and Dr. Spencer Reid."

"Reid. As in Nadine's father?"

Reid's head shot up. "Have you seen her?"

"It's weird. After I called Agent Jareau, I got a phone call that a two year old Jane Doe was brought into the hospital with breathing problems. I thought of Nadine. I grabbed the picture off of Dubois's desk and went to the hospital. It's Nadine. The doctors and nurses are taking good care of her. Our top priority is finding Dubois. I've got you all set up in our large conference room complete with cop food and bad coffee."

"Good," replied Hotch, "Morgan, you and Rossi go to the last spot that Dubois was last seen. Prentiss, you and I will go to Dubois' apartment, see if we can find anything that will be of use for a working profile of our unsub. JJ, you coordinate with the police here. Have them to pull Dubois' personnel file. Nothing is insignificant. Reid, I think it's a good idea for you to go to the hospital and check up on your daughter."

Dugan spoke up, "I'll take you myself, Dr. Reid."

"Thanks."

As Reid walked into the pediatrics wing of Our Lady of strength hospital, he was overjoyed that Nadine was okay. But the joy was short lived knowing that his Madalynn was in harm's way. She knew the risks of being a cop with the NYPD, she had often talked of being transferred out and possibly making use of the degrees she held in child psychology and criminal justice. She'd been talking about this since they both found out that she was pregnant with Nadine. She felt like every child deserved to have both parents. Reid would go with her to wherever she was transferred to. It's why he'd asked Hotch about a possible transfer out of the BAU.

Reid walked to the nurses station and got the attention of a nurse.

"Hi. I'm Dr. Spencer Reid with the Behavior Analysis Unit of the FBI. I was wondering what room Nadine Reid is in."

"Why is the FBI interested in a two year old girl?"

"I'm her father. Could you please tell me what room she's in. I also need to see her attending physician as well."

"If you are her father, we have some paperwork that needs to be filled out. Who is her primary caregiver?"

"Dr. Lisa Hodges." He gave the nurse her number. "Is there anyway I can fill these out later. I really need to see if she's okay."

"Is there a problem here," asked a man who'd walked up behind Reid.

"The nurse replied, "This man claims to be a patient's father, Doctor."

Reid turned around and saw the same man who'd delivered Nadine two years ago.

"Dr. Reid! I'm glad you're here. We're having problems getting a hold of Miss Dubois. I was just about to call you. Is everything okay?"

"No. Madalynn has come up missing. The BAU was called in by the NYPD. The rest of my teammates are looking in to finding her. How is Nadine, Dr. Salazar?"

"She's strong. We were afraid she might not make it. She's been without her inhaler for too long. However, we've got her breathing regulated. She's been asking about you. This paperwork can wait."

Reid shook his hand. "Thank you, Doctor."

As Reid walked into Nadine's room, he didn't notice the tubes or blinking lights. He didn't notice the IV that was pumping fluids and life saving medicine into Nadine's body. He only saw his daughter. She was coloring and didn't notice him as he walked in.

"Hey, Ladybug."

Nadine looked up and her face brightened. "Daddy!" She held out her arms for a hug. Reid bent down and embraced her, letting the tears fall unhindered. He kissed her forehead and tousled her hair.

"Why are you crying, Daddy?"

"They're happy tears. Daddies always cry happy tears." Reid had learned real fast in the two years to hide the ugliness of what he did for a living from Nadine, just as Madalynn did.

"Oh. Like Mommy?"

Reid wondered at this. He knew Nadine had inherited some of his genetic makeup that made him a genius. He wasn't surprised that Nadine was talking as good as she was for a two year old.

"Nadine, when did Mommy cry happy tears?"

"When the dirty man came." With that, Nadine went back to her coloring. That's when he decided to further question Dr. Salazar.

"Baby, I'll be right back. Do you want anything?" He knew immediately what his daughter was going to say.

"Strawberry ice cream!"

He chuckled. That's what Madalynn had craved when she was pregnant. Now, it's all Nadine ever wanted. "I'll see what I can do."

Reid walked into the hall and found Dr. Salazar. "Doctor, were you on call when Nadine was dropped off here?"

"Yes I was. Why do you ask, Dr. Reid?"

"She said something about a dirty man. Did you get a look at who dropped her off?"

"No, but I'm sure that our security cameras picked something up."

"Do the cameras pick up on those entering and exiting?"

"Yes. With the 'Safe Haven' law that was just passed by the New York legislation, it's vital to see who's dropping kids on our doorstep. I can get you the video footage of yesterday. That's when Nadine was dropped off."

"Thank you, Dr. Salazar." Reid pulled out his phone and dialed a number.

"You've reached the office of Supreme Genius. Speak and be recognized, mortal."

"Garcia, it's Reid. Nadine was dropped off at Our Lady of Strength hospital here in New York. I'm sending you some video feed at the time she was dropped off. Can you work your face recognition software on it?"

"Does a dog pee on brick walls?"

"I'll take that as a yes. Do me another favor. I'm going to give you Madalynn's credit card numbers. Can you run them to see if they've been used?"

"You know for a genius, you still ask a lot of dumb questions. BTW, how is Nadine?"

"BTW?"

"It's lingo for by the way. Don't you ever text?"

"Nadine is fine. Doing better than she was when she was dropped off here at the hospital."

"I will call you when I've ID the scumbag. Garcia out."

Reid walked back to Nadine's room. Thankfully, she was sleeping. He didn't want to answer her when she asked about the strawberry ice cream. His hand went to the chain around his neck. No use in hiding what was already known. He unclasped the chain and put the wedding band on his left hand ring finger. His hand went to Nadine's soft brown curls. His stomach churned in angry knots at the thought of what Nadine went thru. He wanted to hit something. Reid knew from the moment of Nadine's birth, that he would be willing to rope the moon for this little girl. He was glad that Hotch had ordered him to the hospital. He was afraid of what he might do if he came face to face with the unsub. Suddenly, a hand on his shoulder pulled him out of his dark thoughts. It was JJ.

"How are you holding up, Spence?"

"I'm scaring myself, JJ. I'm so angry at the thought of this son of a bitch having his hands on my daughter that I want to hit something or someone."

JJ smiled a knowing smile. "It's called being a parent, Spence. This little angel is the best part of you and Madalynn. No one can ever take that away from you."

"What do I do with these feelings?"

"Let them shape you as a man, husband, father, and profiler. One of these days, when you still have a few marbles rolling around upstairs and some grandchildren at your feet, You're going to reflect back on this and give the same advice to the man who becomes your son in law."

Her words rang true, however, they pulled him out of the dark mood he was in. "One step at a time, JJ. I'm not ready to be a grandfather. Any leads on Madalynn?"

"I wish I had better news. But a few eyewitnesses remember seeing Madalynn in Central Park right around dusk Sunday night. Was it her habit to be there at such a dangerous hour?"

"Unfortunately, yes. She had a soft spot for kids who were homeless. Offering to take them to shelters, giving them money for food, buying necessities that were needed in every day life. I tried to warn her. What if one of these kids is the unsub?"

"I know what odds are without you telling me, Spence. However, when Madalynn needs you, You'll pull through for her. But right now, you need to be strong for your daughter."

Reid smiled. "I never thought I'd see the day when a little two year old would have wrapped around her finger."

JJ smiled. She felt the same way with her son Henry.

The man pulled off his filthy jacket and looked in on the figure sleeping on the equally filthy mattress. He knelt down beside her and brushed her cheek. He'd never meant to hurt her. She'd angered him by telling him that she'd been married for two years. What a flirtatious whore she was. However, he could convince his beloved Madalynn to divorce the bastard she was married to. He'd caved when she all but begged and pleaded for the life of her daughter. The wheezing brat was getting on his nerves. Whoever this Spencer Reid was, he'd make short work of him. He wasn't scared to get his hands dirty. Madalynn loved him. He knew it. From the looks and the kind gestures she showed him from driving him to his doctor's appointments to getting him a meal from the local Red Robins, his favorite. He and his precious Madalynn would be together, come hell or high water.


	4. Discoveries

My Secret Love

A Criminal Minds Fan Fiction

Disclaimer: I own no characters of Criminal Minds. Only the story is mine.

Chapter Four

Discoveries

"When a man falls in love, he becomes a liar." - Wordsworth

The alleyway that Madalynn was last seen was a bit of a nightmare. Morgan noticed this right off the bat. The bums sleeping in the street, the kids who thought they were tough because of a specific gang that had 'taken' them in as family. It wasn't that different from the streets of his hometown of Chicago.

"Rossi, if I'm a police officer, why do come to this alleyway that's hidden from any major roads?"

"Reid did say that Dubois was prone to helping the homeless, more specifically the kids."

"Okay, I'm the unsub. How do I get a seasoned NYPD Lt. into this alleyway?"

"You use what's most precious to her."

"Like?"

"Her daughter."

"Okay, but how do I gain access to a two year old?"

"Let's look at this from her point of view. You're a cop who's married to a profiler living in DC. You're raising your daughter by yourself five days out of the week. Where do you put her when you're on call?"

"Daycare. So I kidnap Nadine and bring her here. How do I subdue Dubois and keep Nadine quiet?"

"You threaten Nadine's life. A mother will go through anything to keep her children safe. You say that if she doesn't come with you quietly, that you'll slice her kid's throat. Best guess is that he actually had a knife to Nadine's throat."

"Rossi, we need to talk to the daycare workers." Morgan pulled out his phone. "Hey, Baby Girl, I need you to work me some magic."

"What do you need, Good looking?"

"I need to know what daycare facility Dubois used."

"I can throw in the phone number, no charge."

"You're the best, Garcia."

"I know. Sending you the address to your PDA now.

"Thanks, Momma." He turned to Rossi. "The daycare is in uptown New York. It's five minutes from here."

Suddenly, a young man in well tailored clothes walked into the alleyway. "Whoa! Sorry I didn't know his alley was already in use."

Morgan noticed that the boy's dress didn't fit with the surroundings.

"Who are you, Kid?"

"Names Trey Vickers."

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm supposed to meet Lt. Reid."

"Lt. Dubois, you mean."

"Well yeah, but I prefer to use her married name."

"You knew she was married?"

"Yeah. It was common knowledge to those that she helped. She married some doctor out of DC."

"Were you one of those that she helped?"

Trey gave a smile. "Yeah. Heroin and alcohol aren't exactly compatible. Lt. Reid kept taking me to a detox facility to kick the habit. She never gave up on me. I finally did kick it five years ago. Got my GED and started college. I wanted to meet with her to give her an invitation to my graduation ceremony."

Rossi looked skeptical. "Why here?"

"This is neutral territory, you know gang wise. Lt. Reid knew this. This is also where she first met me."

"Did you come this way earlier?"

"No. I've been in class all day." Apparently, Trey must have seen the doubt in the agents' eyes. He pulled out a card. "This is the card of my sponsor. He'll vouch for me. Is something wrong with her?"

"She's missing. Do you know if she was meeting someone else here?"

Trey shook his head. "As I said, she was always meeting people here. But she did have a problem with this guy named J-Dog. I guess he thought Lt. Reid was in love with him. He carried a picture of her all the time. He quit his program after he learned that she was married with a kid on the way."

"Was this normal behavior for this J-Dog?"

Trey sighed. "You have to understand. Out here on the streets, a homeless kid needs something he or she can cling to. A symbol of hope. Lt. Reid is that symbol. I used to tease her about being New York's very own Mother Theresa."

Morgan smiled. He pulled out a card. "You remember anything, you call that number."

Trey looked at the card. "Find her. If she dies, all hope for the kids on the street dies with her."

Rossi patted his shoulder and said, "Don't worry. We will." With that, the two agents headed for the address of the daycare center.

Hotch and Prentiss were turning up some very interesting findings in Madalynn's apartment. Prentiss had walked into Madalynn's bed room and began going thru the dresser drawers. She found a drawer that was filled with letters and cards that were all from someone named J. Most of the letters bordered on stalking. "Hotch," she called, "You need to see this."

He came in the room with a hand full of answering machine tapes. "We need to get these to Garcia and find out what's on them. What did you find?"

"Letters and cards. Apparently, Madalynn has a stalker who signs each letter with a J. I wonder if it means anything to Reid?"

Before Hotch could answer, his cell phone chirped. "Yeah, Morgan?"

"Hotch, Rossi and I here at Building Blocks daycare, the same one that Dubois used. The owner of this daycare, Melanie Turner, is dead, throat slashed. Now neighbors remember Dubois dropping Nadine off this morning."

"Right. Anything else?"

"Yeah. We ran into a student, a kid on the streets named Trey Vickers that Dubois took a vested interest in. Said that when Dubois announced she was married to Reid and was pregnant with Nadine, another homeless kid went postal. Started carrying around a photo of her. Sounds like Eroto- Mania, to me, Hotch."

"You get an name?"

"Trey only knew him as J-Dog."

"Hmmm. Seems as if Dubois has a stalker. Prentiss found a bunch of letters and card signed by a J. Go to the hospital and talk to Reid. Maybe he'll remember something from the past few days he was here."

"Right."

He snapped his phone shut. "Looks like you were right, Prentiss. Dubois has a stalker. Get these to Garcia."

Prentiss shook her head, grabbed the letters and tapes and headed back to the precinct.

Meanwhile, Madalynn had woke up. Her head was splitting from the blow she's received. She tried to sit up, but noticed her hand was handcuffed to the pipes leading to an old toilet. Her vision was still blurry, so she couldn't positively identify were she was. Just that this place had the look of years of neglect. She again, tried to sit up, this time moving the cuff hooked to the pipe towards her. It was then that she vomited. She might have a concussion, but she knew it was her nerves. Worrying about her daughter.

"Like what I've done with the place, Madalynn?"

Madalynn tried to focus on the source of the voice speaking to her. She was certain she'd heard that voice before. "Who are you?"

"You don't remember the life you saved two years ago? The scrawny teenager who was being used as a gang leader's sex slave?"

"Jeremy Summerland?"

"I knew you'd remember. Everyone told me that I was crazy, but I knew that you loved me."

"Love you? Jeremy, I barely know you."

"But..you took me to my favorite restaurant. You took me to the shelter. I tried to make improvements for you."

"Jeremy," Madalynn said in a soothing voice, "I never wanted you to do that for me. I wanted you to do that for you. You deserve a better life than living out on the streets being sodomized by a drug dealing, drug using perverted gang leader. I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. But I'm married and have a daughter."

"NO! You love me! You helped me! You told me you loved me by your acts of kindness. I spared your kid! I could have sliced her throat like I did the daycare worker!"

Madalynn gasped. "You killed Melanie?" Nadine was going to be crushed. She and Melanie were joined at the hip. "Why would you kill a sweet woman like Melanie?"

"I knew if I used your brat, you'd follow me." He knelt down to face her, his expression changed to that of love. "Divorce your Dr. Reid, leave your daughter. Marry me, Madalynn. We could be so happy together. Think of the things we could do!"

Jeremy noticed Madalynn's expression had changed as well. From worry to rage. She slapped Jeremy, her nails raking the side of his face, drawing blood. "I would rather die a thousand deaths than to leave Spencer and Nadine for the likes of you."

Jeremy nodded his head. "Then if you won't leave him, I'll bring him here and you can both die together."

"Spencer would never fall into a trap that you've set. He's too smart."

"That's why you're going to write the note."

"And if I say no?"

"Remember, I still have your daughter. If you don't write the letter, I can bring her here and slowly kill you in front of her. Think of what that can do to the mind of a child."

Tears streamed down Madalynn's face. She shook her head, knowing the mere thought of Nadine was a powerful weapon used against her. "Very well," she said softly, "I'll write it."

Jeremy smirked. "I knew you would. And to sweeten the deal," he snatched the chain around Madalynn's neck off. "These rings should bring your noble Dr. Reid running."

In tears, Madalynn wrote the note.

Back at the 22nd, Garcia had everyone's attention via the computer monitor. "Okay, my brave warriors. I've managed to isolate the image on the hospital footage, and the scumbag of the year is Jeremy Summerland."

Captain Dugan sighed, "Summerland. Why am I not surprised?"

Hotch asked, "You know him?"

"Yeah, he's in our system due to vandalism, petty theft, and plenty of drug charges. His mom was a hooker who left him on the steps of Our Lady of Strength. He'd been on the streets since age ten. Dubois took an interest in him. She pretty much had her hands full. He'd been sodomized and raped by every member in the gang that he ran with. Add cocaine to the mix and you have one sick teenager. If he's taken Dubois, that means he's a three striker."

"A three striker," asked JJ

"Yeah. After Dubois got him into a detox program, she warned him if he ever gotten into trouble again, it would be his third strike. No more second chances."

Morgan asked, "Do you know where he would bed down at night? If he's out of his gang, the members could see that as a betrayal. He'd have to be in a neutral site."

Hotch replied, "Gather your people, Dugan. We're ready to give a profile."

Five minutes later as Hotch and the rest of the BAU minus Reid, were briefing the 22nd, JJ was giving the same profile to the press. She never knew it, but Reid and Nadine were watching the announcement in the hospital. As Reid dosed off, Nadine began screaming as if something was threatening her. Reid was wide awake. "Nadine! Nadine! What's wrong?"

She pointed to the tv where JJ was giving the profile and holding up a picture of Jeremy Summerland. "The dirty man, Daddy! Don't let the dirty man get me again!"

"It's okay, Baby. You're safe. He's not going to get you again. I promise."

Nadine whimpered, "Promise, Daddy?"

"I promise, Ladybug."

A nurse entered the room. "Is everything okay? I heard screaming."

"It's okay. Just a bad dream."

"Dr. Reid, this was delivered here about three minutes ago via currier. Said a man gave him fifty bucks to deliver it."

Reid opened the letter and read the note. He saw Madalynn's wedding ring fall out of the envelope. He looked at the nurse. "Can you make sure that she's okay until I get back?'

"No problem."

Reid drove to the 22nd and walked to the conference room. Hotch spotted him first. "Reid, you're supposed to be with your daughter."

"I know, Hotch. But this was just delivered to me."

Hotch read the note and looked at the ring. "You think it's a setup?"

"It's Madalynn's handwriting. See how the heaviest point is where she starts and the lightest point is where she tails off towards the right? Madalynn is left handed. Plus this letter is addressed to Spencer. Madalynn would never call me Spencer to my face. It's signed Madalynn. I've never called her Madalynn to her face."

"What so you mean?"

"I mean if I were talking directly to Madalynn, I'd call her Lynn. She'd call me Doc. This address. Fourth and Broadway, I know where this is."

Rossi stopped. "Did you say Fourth and Broadway? That was the last spot that Dubois was seen. Morgan and I were just there. The neutral alleyway. What's there, Captain?"

"An abandoned hotel. It's been scheduled for demolition next month."

Hotch looked around. "Okay suit up. I was SWAT surrounding the building. Reid, you stay here."

"No. I'm going."

"Reid.."

"Hotch, this bastard has my wife. I'm going and that's final."

He softly chuckled. Married life was agreeing with Reid. He was becoming brave. It took a big set of brass ones to stand up to your supervisor. He knew Reid was finally tapping into the strength that was genetically passed down from their ancestors, the cave men. Protect your woman and children at all costs. He hoped, for Reid's sake, that tragedy wouldn't play a part in the safe return of Madalynn


	5. True Love Triumphs

My Secret Love

A Criminal Minds Fan fiction

Disclaimer: I own no characters of Criminal Minds. Only the story is mine.

Chapter Five

True Love Triumphs

"When a man loves a woman, She can do no wrong. He'll trade everything for the good thing he's found."-Percy Sledge

Reid was on edge when the team arrived at the old hotel. He knew Hotch was right in telling him to stay. He remembered what Gideon had said in his letter after his friend Sarah had been killed by Frank. "A profiler has been compromised when his emotions get the best of him." However, this was the woman he'd promised to share his life with. The mother of his daughter. Reid would trade everything just for the knowledge that Madalynn was okay. He relaxed a little just knowing that JJ had offered to stay with Nadine. At least she was safe.

"What's the plan, Hotch?"

"Don't think you're going in there, Reid. We need to talk him down. The profile says that he's a heavy drug user. Right now he's more than likely high on cocaine."

"Negotiating with him might get Madalynn killed. If he's high right now, then he'll be erratic. In his mind, he believes that Madalynn is in love with him. He may be thinking if he can't have her no one will."

That's why we need to talk him down. If he decides to die via suicide by cop, I don't want her in the crossfire."

Inside the building, Madalynn was trying to calm Jeremy down. "Jeremy listen. Do you hear that? The police and the SWAT units are here. I know you want to go out in a hail of bullets, but you can surrender. If you do, I swear to God that I will do everything in my power to get your sentence reduced."

"Ha! You would want me to do that, wouldn't you? So I can end up being someone's little bitch? You told me three strikes and I was out!" He pulled her hair yanking her head back. "I will not go back to prison!"

"I don't want to see you die either. You have a lot of potential. I'm begging you to surrender. Don't you think enough of blood has been spilt in this war zone of a city?"

"If you didn't love me, why did you help me?"

"I told you. You deserved better than a life out on the streets. Jeremy, I was homeless. Living on the streets when I was thirteen. I was given a second chance, which is what I've tried to give all the kids out there."

"Then, without your love, life has no meaning. It wouldn't matter if I was riddled by the bullets that are pointed in my direction." He pointed his gun.

Hotch had the bullhorn to his mouth. "Jeremy Summerland! This is Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner of the FBI. Show yourself!"

It was then that the team heard the unthinkable. It caused Reid to panic. A gunshot.

Madalynn flinched as the roar of the hand gun was deafening. Jeremy had fired a bullet into the ceiling directly above her, causing dust and small particles of debris to come falling. She coughed, "Jeremy, what are you doing?"

"I'm not going quietly." He leaned out the window, "Do you hear me Mr. G-man? You'll never make me go quietly."

"Are you crazy, Jeremy? The SWAT more than likely has snipers on neighboring roofs. They can take you faster than a hunter can a deer."

Good! Then it will be one less hopeless teenager you have to waste your time on."

Madalynn stopped trying reason with him. He was past suicidal. This kid had a death wish. She mourned who Jeremy used to be. A kid who was abandoned by his mother and left to fend for himself at the tender age of five. He took to the streets and looked for love. Any kind of love. Even if it was the abuse endured at the hands of a sadistic gang leader. All Jeremy wanted was love. She blamed herself. She had offered a hand, and he misinterpreted her true intention. Spencer had tried to warn her about the behavior of some of these want to be gang members. She dismissed him, as he was prone to sounding like her criminal justice professor spouting statistics. She sighed. "Nothing I say will change your mind, will it?"

"No. I've already got my mind made up. This is going to be my last night on earth. I'm going down in a blaze of glory." He unlocked her cuffs and stood her up. He grabbed her arm and led her down the flight of stairs. "Surprise, I'm taking you with me!" He wrapped an arm around her and put her in front of him, using her a human shield, as walked out the front door of the old hotel.

The sight that caught Reid's eyes purely made him want to vomit. Jeremy was using Madalynn as a human shield with a gun to her head. He started towards her. "Lynn." He felt Hotch's hand on his shoulder.

"Stay put, Reid."

Reid sighed. Hotch had been in this position, shortly before Hailey was killed. Reid had no other option but to trust him. Running towards Madalynn and Jeremy would result in two actions. A, if he lived, he would loose his coveted position with the BAU. B, it would be certain suicide and a lot of fellow law officers would be caught in the crossfire. Reid fought the urge to run towards the two, gun blazing.

"Jeremy," Hotch said thru the bullhorn, "Let Madalynn go. Holding a police officer hostage isn't going to look good for you. You claim you love her. If you do, let her go."

"No! If I can't have her, then no one can! I'll put a bullet through her pretty little head."

"Think of her daughter, Jeremy. You saved the life of her two year old when you dropped her off at the local hospital."

Madalynn gasped. Nadine was safe? "You took Nadine to the hospital? Why?"

"She couldn't be on the streets after I killed her mother. She isn't strong enough to handle the streets of New York. She was better placed at the hospital."

"Thank you. I'll die in peace knowing she safe."

"Stop patronizing me! You think I don't know what you're trying to do? You're trying to get me in a prison cell! I told you, I'm not going back!" He pushed Madalynn down and aimed the gun at her. Before Jeremy could react, Dugan had snuck up behind Jeremy and pistol whipped him. Jeremy fell to the ground, holding his bleeding head in pain. Dugan kicked away his gun and stood him up.

Meanwhile, a pair of hands helped Madalynn to her feet. She turned to thank the person and saw a tall black man. "You must be Derik Morgan."

"That's right."

"Where is.."

"Reid? He's over there."

Madalynn followed Morgan's finger. She saw the one face that had gotten her thru this crazy day. She ran towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Doc. I thought I'd never see you again."

Reid smiled. "Me neither, Lynn." He went to release her but she held his embrace.

"Don't let me go, Doc. Just hold me."

"It's okay, Baby." It was then that Reid noticed it. Jeremy had punched Dugan and grabbed his gun and had it aimed at Madalynn's back. He turned her around so that his back was facing Jeremy's line of sight, just at the time the gun went off. Before Madalynn knew what happened, Reid was on his knees, groaning in pain. She noticed the blood on her hands. "Doc?" She knelt beside him. She couldn't tell where he'd been shot, but it had to be bad with all this blood. Jeremy's laughter was grating on her nerves.

"How do you like me now, Madalynn?"

Madalynn reacted quickly. She grabbed Reid's gun and shot Jeremy, between the eyes. "How do you like me," she asked softly. She had such high hopes for Jeremy. She now understood why he said that tonight would be his last night on earth. Suicide by cop. She grieved. Jeremy was gone and now Spencer, the kind hearted man who'd captured her heart when she'd bumped into him in Central Park, his life maybe in danger. How could she carry on if Spencer died?

An hour later, after much pacing and more coffee than she really needed, Madalynn finally received word on Spencer. The bullet was a through and through. It had went in through his right leg and had exited through the other side, missing any major arteries.

Madalynn was given permission to check in on him.

"Hey, Doc."

"Hey yourself, pretty lady."

"I'm so sorry," she began as she sat down, "I should have listened to you instead of trying to carry on with my personal mission to save every homeless child. You and Nadine are the most important part of me right now."

"I know. I panicked when I heard you were missing. I just kept thinking that I'd spiral downward if I lost you and Nadine. You two are what keep me sane in an insane world."

"Where is Nadine?"

"JJ is keeping her company. Can you ask the rest of the team to come in?"

"Sure, Doc." She leaned down and deeply kissed him.

As Madalynn walked around the corner to where the rest of the team was waiting, she said, "He's asking for you all. Agent Hotchner, could I have a word?"

"Sure?"

"I know that Spencer considers this team family. I apologize if you all feel betrayed. The blame has to fall somewhere. Let it fall at my feet. I asked Spencer to keep things quiet about our marriage."

"Did you know he asked about a transfer out of the BAU?"

This was news to Madalynn. "No. I'd prefer he'd stay with the BAU. You see, my transfer has come in. But I'm not taking it. Nadine and I are going with Spencer to DC."

"Does he know that?"

"Not yet. I'll tell him when the time is right."

"As one who lost his best friend and spouse to this job, don't let this job tear you guys apart. No more secrets."

Madalynn shook her head. Hotch was right. No more secrets. She walked to the pediatrics wing and found Nadine's room with ease. It was the only one with a brightly colored ladybug taped to the door. Nadine had a fascination with ladybugs. It's how she earned her nickname.

"Hey! There's my Ladybug!"

"Mommy! Miss JJ! It's Mommy."

Nadine wrapped Madalynn in a huge hug. After Nadine released her, Madalynn looked at JJ. "Thank you for looking after her."

"No problem. She's a joy to be with."

"How many do you have?"

"Just one. A son named Henry. Look Madalynn.."

"It's Maddie. That's what my family at the 22nd calls me."

"Maddie, I hope you don't think me forward when I say this, but Spence is a member of my family as well. He's Henry's godfather. He's a good man who deserves the best. You're good for him. He has a spring in his step and a smile on his face. Be good to him."

Madalynn smiled. "You have my word, JJ."

The next day, both Spencer and Nadine were released from the hospital. It was blessing and a curse. The upside was that Madalynn had her family back together. The downside was that medically, Spencer wasn't cleared to fly. Hotch had offered to drive him.

"Nah, thanks anyway, Hotch, but I'd like to spend some time here with my family, if that's okay."

Hotch smiled. "Sure. Take as much time as you need." He looked at Madalynn. "Keep him out of trouble. See you in DC."

As the SUVs drove away, Spencer looked at Madalynn. "See you in DC?"

"We've got a lot to discuss, Doc."


	6. Secrets part two

My Secret Love

A Criminal Minds Fan Fiction

Disclaimer: I own no characters of Criminal Minds. Only the story is mine.

Chapter six

Secrets part two-Madalynn's point of view

"And the wife will cleave to her husband..and the two shall become one flesh." Genesis 2:24

It's been nearly three days since the incident at the hotel. I'm still trying to make since of Jeremy's senseless death. I think the question that still rolls around in my head is why? Why did Jeremy think that suicide by cop was his only way out? I don't think I'll ever figure that one out. Even the most brilliant profiler wouldn't be able to figure that question out. I guess some minds weren't meant to be studied.

I lay with my head on Spencer's chest, listening to his heartbeat. It's a sound that's comforting however, instead of sleeping, I lay there rolling those awful events thru my head. My restlessness more than likely wasn't lost on him. Nearly three years of marriage, and I'm surprised how well we know each other.

"Something on your mind, Lynn?"

I turn so I can look at him. "Just wondering why Jeremy decided that life wasn't worth living. Did he think death was the only way out? I'm laying here blaming myself."

He plays with a strand of my hair and looks me in the eyes. "You did nothing wrong, Lynn. Jeremy's problems more than likely stemmed from abandonment issues he had when his mother left him on the steps of that hospital. You were like a mother figure. He confused that with love, or what he thought was love."

"Doc, that doesn't make me feel any better." I sit up with my back facing him. "Am I naïve in thinking that violence met with violence never solves anything?" Then for no apparent reason, I began sobbing. Spencer gets up and grabs my arms. "What are you doing?"

"It's nearly midnight and neither of us can sleep. Besides, I want to show you something."

He leads me to the bay window that has a breathtaking view of the New York skyline. It's the reason that I bought the second story apartment when I first moved here. "Look out the window. What do you see?"

"A city that never sleeps?"

He chuckles. "I see a city in which a handful of homeless kids gained a new lease on life because of your actions. This city may be a war zone, but just know that there are some bright spots. These kids that have decided to turn their lives around are now like flowers that are growing in between the cracks in the pavement. This city can't keep them down, because of the difference you've made in their lives."

I turn to face him. "You really believe that?"

"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it. I'll be right back."

As Spencer walks towards the living room, I stand there, staring out the window, pondering his words. The faces of the kids I've helped get into a detox program, those who chose to kick their habits and make something of themselves, flood my memory. Kids like Trey, who had called me Mother Theresa or Saint Madalynn. I never wanted to be recognized, just to help kids gain a second chance as I'd been given. Had my adopted parents not helped me out, I'd probably been on the wrong side of the law. Then there's Nadine. She'd never been born. And Spencer. I would've never bumped into him in Central Park spilling the ten dollar cup of really bad coffee. More than likely, I would have been in the same position that Jeremy found himself in just a few days ago. Spencer interrupts my thoughts with a glass of red wine.

"Question. What did Hotch mean by 'see you in DC'?"

I sighed. Here it comes. No more secrets. I promised both Hotch and JJ that. "I got my transfer after you left Sunday morning." I see the fear in his eyes.

"And?"

"I haven't opened it." He leads me to the living room. We both sit on the couch. I rest my head on his shoulder. He massages the base of my neck.

"Why?"

"I'm not going to take it."

"You're not leaving New York?"

"Yes."

"Okay, now I'm confused."

I turn to face Spencer, staring into his deep brown eyes. "Hotch told me about your inquiring about a possible transfer out of the BAU."

"Oh."

"I don't want you to leave the BAU, Doc. That team is your family. That's why Nadine and I are going with you to DC."

"You're willing to leave New York for me, Lynn?"

"I love you, Spencer Reid. I'll take you any way I can get you. If you asked me, I would follow you into the bowels of Hell."

I'd only seen this man cry twice. The day that Nadine was born and the day he buried his mother. It was surprising that the tears flowed unchecked.

"I need to thank Hotch when I get back." My quizzical expression must have caught his eye. "Hotch told you about me asking to leave the BAU. I just realized that I can't leave it. It's my home."

"Doc, I'd rather see you happy than miserable. That's why Nadine and I are going to DC with you."

He placed a hand to my cheek. "What about you? You've been a cop for nearly eight years. I don't want to see you miserable."

I smile. "I'm happy as long as I'm with you and Nadine." We sit there on the couch in silence. Him in those funny looking pajamas bottoms with the owls reading and me in one of his long sleeve shirts and pair of black shorts. I'm content. Moments like these, when Nadine is asleep and the apartment is quiet, and I'm in the arms of the man I love, don't come very often.

"You know," Spencer breaks the silence, "We should open the transfer papers. You know, just for kicks."

I shrug. "Couldn't hurt." I walk over to the desk that my mail tends to pile up on and pull out the transfer paper. I look down at the FBI insignia and shudder. There's no telling where in the US that they'd want to send me. I open the envelope and read the contents. I look at Spencer in surprise. He puts down the glass of wine and walks over to where I stand frozen.

"Well? What does it say?"

"They want me in Quantico."

"Quantico?"

"Apparently the BAU has a fellowship with the department of Crimes against Children. They want me to head it up."

"Will you take it?"

"What do you think," I ask, playfully hitting him in the arm. He walks over as to sit down again, but he finds one of Nadine's stuffed animals and throws it at my back. I turn around and see him feigning innocence. I turn back to the desk and find a piece of junk mail. I crumple it up and throw it at him, hitting him square in the head. I hold my hands up, mocking a football referee signaling a touch down. "Score! Two points!"

"Oh," Spencer smiles menacingly, "You want to play dirty, do you?" We're both laughing as he chases me back into the bedroom.

That night, after making love to my husband, lying again with my head on his chest, listening to the comforting sound of his heartbeat, I finally realize that in his arms is where I want to be, regardless of what state or country we're in.

THE END

a\n Most of us have really off the wall dreams. This fan fic was inspired by a dream. I hope you've enjoyed it!


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